Okay, so let me start by acknowledging that some of my bought-in subscribers (and all of the first of them) do, in fact, know me irl. And they bought my book, too. But there are loads more who haven’t purchased my novel or a paid subscription, many of whom I can’t even give free shit to. Presumably they like me as a person—maybe even
I've had one friend read my book. Everyone else isn't interested. Heck, I even have really close friends who won't like a selfie when I post it. It could be too that it's exhausting having a creative as a friend, and the expectation that they should read whatever new stuff I come out with. So I have no expectations. I would rather have strangers read my fiction anyway.
also, I have absolutely no idea how my profile shows a 30+ year old picture of me. I have no idea where that picture is but someone substack snatched it.
Hey, T! What a fabulous deep dive into anti-nepotism and the general shitty feelings of friends not realizing your worth.
You hit the nail on the head in the beginning with your take of already being known 'enough' hence the lack of support, imo. I look forward to being able to pick up your novel Everything Fails: A Science Fictional Memoir in the very near future as well!
I've experienced much of what you've presented above! It's very odd, but I've tried to tell myself that maybe my friends just don't like reading. I wonder if they see it as exploitative since in their mind I'm not "legitimate", as in "I'm not on TV, or propped up by major corporate backers" or something. I've noticed it with social media as well. There's a snowball effect that happens where once you get more traction, your worth somehow goes up in people's eyes because your work has been vetted by an outside source, presumably by those the unconvinced person may deem as more authoritative in the field. I don't know, but I've tried to analyze this without taking it personally haha.
Imagine seeing a 30-minute drive to see someone as a total drag. You’re counting how much time everything will take. But there’s another side, where you drive out an hour and a half and you’re focused on how rich the time will be once you get there. The hours just fly past.
I see it as that kind of perspective. If you’re into something, it won’t seem like work. I also think there’s a suspension of disbelief we’re robbed off. We’d accept work from a stranger before a relative. We know the relative and have formed our opinions. Sometimes your creative side reveals a dimension people can’t or don’t want to see as authentically you.
All said, it doesn’t take much to support family or friends. It’s a matter of will.
I've had one friend read my book. Everyone else isn't interested. Heck, I even have really close friends who won't like a selfie when I post it. It could be too that it's exhausting having a creative as a friend, and the expectation that they should read whatever new stuff I come out with. So I have no expectations. I would rather have strangers read my fiction anyway.
also, I have absolutely no idea how my profile shows a 30+ year old picture of me. I have no idea where that picture is but someone substack snatched it.
Hey, T! What a fabulous deep dive into anti-nepotism and the general shitty feelings of friends not realizing your worth.
You hit the nail on the head in the beginning with your take of already being known 'enough' hence the lack of support, imo. I look forward to being able to pick up your novel Everything Fails: A Science Fictional Memoir in the very near future as well!
I've experienced much of what you've presented above! It's very odd, but I've tried to tell myself that maybe my friends just don't like reading. I wonder if they see it as exploitative since in their mind I'm not "legitimate", as in "I'm not on TV, or propped up by major corporate backers" or something. I've noticed it with social media as well. There's a snowball effect that happens where once you get more traction, your worth somehow goes up in people's eyes because your work has been vetted by an outside source, presumably by those the unconvinced person may deem as more authoritative in the field. I don't know, but I've tried to analyze this without taking it personally haha.
Yep. My husband of a million years does not read my writing. When I a short story won a contest, he asked about the story but did not read it.
Imagine seeing a 30-minute drive to see someone as a total drag. You’re counting how much time everything will take. But there’s another side, where you drive out an hour and a half and you’re focused on how rich the time will be once you get there. The hours just fly past.
I see it as that kind of perspective. If you’re into something, it won’t seem like work. I also think there’s a suspension of disbelief we’re robbed off. We’d accept work from a stranger before a relative. We know the relative and have formed our opinions. Sometimes your creative side reveals a dimension people can’t or don’t want to see as authentically you.
All said, it doesn’t take much to support family or friends. It’s a matter of will.
I’m all for supporting friends and loved ones financially!