I heard something today from Tiffany Adichie about giving equaling abundance. If you clutch what you have, you are not open to receive what others may give you. It spoke to me because it’s not about dismissing what I’m owed, but accepting that it may not come in the form I demand. Some of what we are owed comes to us in forms we don’t expect if we’re willing to let go. So I do.
And honestly, we are owed, in a general sense, the agency and freedom to pursue our dreams. Not a good job or career or boss behavior, but the freedom to tap into who we are as people and to be able to chase what is in our hearts to have. It’s may not look like a finance job. Maybe it’s a fishing boat, but it’s ours.
Yea, T, you hit the nail on the head about if you feel owed, you need to get real about what you owe others. We need to look carefully at what we owe to the persons, places and things we love, because we owe them love for their sake, not for our sake. Otherwise, it's no more than the way we love food or love parts of ourselves. We owe genuine love so that who or what is loved is free to be itself. It’s kind of a metaphysical thing, owing this kind of love. And it’s not easy to do, is it?
Nothing is guaranteed in this life, not even kindness. So I guess I grapple with the idea of owing anything (although I try to be a nice person, yet I can be direct and kind of bitchy haha). If someone is a dick to me, which has happened A LOT in my life, I guess I finally realized in my older age that no, they do not owe me an apology because they rarely come in reality — no matter how much I had hope those people would come to their senses. Instead, I owe it to myself to let it go and move on. It's not easy.
But vice versa, sometimes people in my life have unrealistic expectations of me that I cannot live up to. And therefore they think that I owe them something.
Yes, being raised a Gen Xer or by parents who are stoic, but still loving, has made me a very self dependent person, maybe to a fault. I was expected to take care of things, to deal with it. In some ways I appreciate that.
I think there are takers in this world, there are givers of all different ages. There are those that expect the world to cater to them, and there are those who are realists. The world can be a beautiful place, and it can be a horrendous place. It is both and it will likely always be. It's up to us, not anyone else, to make it better. But even that is perception. The road to hell is sometimes lead with good intentions depending on your perception. Nature is cruel even if humans try not to be.
Bottom line, we learn from the rough times in our life. But as writers, and this is why I love writing, is that we can make those hard times bittersweet and incredibly engaging.
Sorry for my long comment. I'm fasting and am feeling philosophical. 😊
I remember reading an interview with Pete Townshend many years ago. The Who by this point had made a lot of money. Especially Pete since he did the lions share of the writing.
Pete said that while he felt he earned the money, the more an artist or writer gets, the more you loose your edge. When you are comfortable, you are less edgy, less likely to take chances. Alan Watts made similar comments not long before he died, to the effect that his earlier books were more interesting.
So, maybe writers need enough money to live, but not enough to become lazy?
I heard something today from Tiffany Adichie about giving equaling abundance. If you clutch what you have, you are not open to receive what others may give you. It spoke to me because it’s not about dismissing what I’m owed, but accepting that it may not come in the form I demand. Some of what we are owed comes to us in forms we don’t expect if we’re willing to let go. So I do.
And honestly, we are owed, in a general sense, the agency and freedom to pursue our dreams. Not a good job or career or boss behavior, but the freedom to tap into who we are as people and to be able to chase what is in our hearts to have. It’s may not look like a finance job. Maybe it’s a fishing boat, but it’s ours.
Your comment is worthy of its own newsletter 😄 But then that's often the case 😏
Oh, you flatter me. ☺️🫣
Yea, T, you hit the nail on the head about if you feel owed, you need to get real about what you owe others. We need to look carefully at what we owe to the persons, places and things we love, because we owe them love for their sake, not for our sake. Otherwise, it's no more than the way we love food or love parts of ourselves. We owe genuine love so that who or what is loved is free to be itself. It’s kind of a metaphysical thing, owing this kind of love. And it’s not easy to do, is it?
I'd say, no, it's not easy. But it's a great practice and ultimately enriches life for everyone :)
Nothing is guaranteed in this life, not even kindness. So I guess I grapple with the idea of owing anything (although I try to be a nice person, yet I can be direct and kind of bitchy haha). If someone is a dick to me, which has happened A LOT in my life, I guess I finally realized in my older age that no, they do not owe me an apology because they rarely come in reality — no matter how much I had hope those people would come to their senses. Instead, I owe it to myself to let it go and move on. It's not easy.
But vice versa, sometimes people in my life have unrealistic expectations of me that I cannot live up to. And therefore they think that I owe them something.
Yes, being raised a Gen Xer or by parents who are stoic, but still loving, has made me a very self dependent person, maybe to a fault. I was expected to take care of things, to deal with it. In some ways I appreciate that.
I think there are takers in this world, there are givers of all different ages. There are those that expect the world to cater to them, and there are those who are realists. The world can be a beautiful place, and it can be a horrendous place. It is both and it will likely always be. It's up to us, not anyone else, to make it better. But even that is perception. The road to hell is sometimes lead with good intentions depending on your perception. Nature is cruel even if humans try not to be.
Bottom line, we learn from the rough times in our life. But as writers, and this is why I love writing, is that we can make those hard times bittersweet and incredibly engaging.
Sorry for my long comment. I'm fasting and am feeling philosophical. 😊
I remember reading an interview with Pete Townshend many years ago. The Who by this point had made a lot of money. Especially Pete since he did the lions share of the writing.
Pete said that while he felt he earned the money, the more an artist or writer gets, the more you loose your edge. When you are comfortable, you are less edgy, less likely to take chances. Alan Watts made similar comments not long before he died, to the effect that his earlier books were more interesting.
So, maybe writers need enough money to live, but not enough to become lazy?